


First Time in a Long Time

by skullmoss



Category: Fallout - Fandom, Fallout 4
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fade to Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullmoss/pseuds/skullmoss
Summary: there's never really an ideal time to sleep with a ghoul, is there?
Relationships: John Hancock/Female Sole Survivor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	First Time in a Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> another WIP drabble i found in my drafts.

"so…we're really doing this……"

it's not the sort of setting she'd have imagined; an abandoned house in the middle of the commonwealth, picked clean of feral and glowing ghouls mere hours before. but at least there was a bed and a roof in spite of the faint stench of rot and radioactive decay, and when it's after the end of the world and her first time over 200 years ago had been in the back of her then-girlfriend's father's car…a person can learn to not be picky.

the storm rattles the shutters violently, and she's reminded why they've stayed in in the first place. it had been raining throughout their travels, and it was only until now that it had started to pick up into something that made her Pip Boy click with warning. she had done away with her clothes to hang them in a sad attempt to dry, sitting in her underwear but bra-less besides him. 

he's kicked off his boots and soaked socks, shrugged of that old jacket of his that's worse for wear from being more an artifact than actual article of clothing. and then along comes his undershirt. it's pulled off, with help from her not because he needs help but because they're setting a mood.

this was it, the moment where she could take it or leave it. sure, it's easy to say things, even easy to neck and to get to heavy petting through clothes. but when the clothes start coming up and his partners see the sorry state of what he is, that the rotting runs deep, some just… can't stomach the goods. and while in the past it could be take it or leave it (and if they left it, it would sure as hell sting but not--)

\--well, it would break his heart if ilya turned him away in disgust.

_fuck._

she's looking at the seam-like scar where his pinky toe had been. her dark eyes trailing up, centering in on his...

 _ah_. a gesture of putting two and two together. wondering if one appendage falls off, then others could follow suit. he'll play it off. it's not the first time he's been asked it; male or female smoothskin, they always have to wonder. fellow ghouls know what their life is like, so they don't.

but he still has his. knows some others who don't but they still make do.

"look it's not about the if, it's about the when it's gonna happen. and when it does i want there to be mileage on it before i kiss it goodbye. or, better yet when _you_ kiss it goodbye." ilya blanches at that and he laughs roughly, masking the nervousness that suddenly swells like bile in his gut. he's hurt but he won't show it. a newfound ghoul may find it insulting; a smoothskin suggesting that they're always rotting, always losing pieces (which…he is, honestly, he knows it, when his toe went missing it took him three days to realize it happened). but he's john fucking hancock and nothing should phase him. and sure the hurt comes from the fact that this is _her_ , he knows her look and hesitation comes from a place of caring about him.

at least he hopes.

he humours the idea of it being out of disgust with actually very little humour and a hell of a lot of fear. but it does phase him, and it does hurt; knowing full well what he is, knowing the stares and the way those Diamond City fucks talk about him.

"i like you a lot, y'know, and if you don't wanna do it i…get it. we don't have to, we can just sit back, have a puff and just lay next to each other that's just as good."

"you're saying you want to cuddle?"

"well yeah. take advantage of you for your figure. you don't find soft ghouls in the commonwealth."

dark eyes glazed pale with cataracts he's lean, sinewy and featherlight. certainly not soft. _certainly not soft_...

and the breath he's been holding comes out in a sharp exhale when her gaze goes easy, when she moves in closer and the swell of her bare breasts brush gentle and sweet against his arm. "you need to eat more." she undoes the buttons of his jeans, unzips them, and he lets out a ragged sigh in relief. he's half hard for her, and he's not ashamed of her knowing it, arching up so she could palm it, feel the length of it beginning to press against the thin fabric of his underwear. it takes him a bit longer than it used to. longer to get all the way, and longer to…well, as frustrating as it can be for him, that's a bit of a non-issue. makes things last.

"I haven't slept with anyone in a long time…" she admits, and he knows she doesn't mean because it's been 200 years for her. for her, 200 years was still months ago. so he gets what she means, and he won't ask about the husband. mood killer. for her, and for him, and he wasn't about to kill something that didn't deserve it. instead he brings his hand to rest at her neck, leaning forward slightly and urging her head to close the little distance that remains, and he kisses her, hard and raw and no doubt accidentally bruising her lips against his teeth. the air seems to loose from her lungs, and he rocks into the firm press of her hand.

"time to break your dry spell, then," his voice is huskier than usual, and when she laughs in response he feels the heat of her breath against his tongue, the way her full lips curve up against his skin.

the rain drums against their ramshackle hideaway, hot and radioactive. 


End file.
